Recalling Rest
Taking the time before you are given it
“Caroline, do you ever spend 2-3 days in bed and sleep, like really sleep?”
“Uh, no,” I laughed slightly, “Do you?”
“Yes.”
We were in the middle of an intense training program and this special operations officer whose computer was next to mine dropped that question one afternoon. There was nothing further. We both continued typing and were off to our next training activities. He seemed to be longing for his routine in which he would be “on the go” until his battery was at zero and then recharged…for multiple days.
I have no idea why this snippet of a conversation sticks with me.
This guy was high energy, in the most genuine way. Always kind, incredibly curious, forever “on.” I never would have guessed he was capable of spending so much time doing nothing in one location. But that was his routine. Those days to rest were how he became ready to charge so hard.
I thought of that brief conversation today as I was trying to decide if I could take the afternoon to just rest. It had been an intense few weeks. The roofers were at my apartment the last few weeks, so I had packed up for a new Airbnb each Monday through Friday. More acutely, I was up at 5 or 6am multiple days for a few different reasons, then had an intense Friday and Saturday on campus for the MBA program. Sunday was early soccer and wrapping up hypothesis testing data analytics homework the most of the afternoon. The early rising, packing and unpacking, plus the time change, continued until today.
I thought of this conversation and that even this guy needed a recharge. So yes, I decided I would take the afternoon to rest. The afternoon being an hour I could grant myself to rest so that it didn’t turn into getting sick or injured and being forced to rest.
There have been so many times I’ve run too hard for too long, then been provided a “forced rest.” Yet I often still resisted. Sprained ankles, pinched nerves, torn ligaments, flus, headache…I would keep going despite being handed an opportunity for a reset. Then, the next incident would be a little worse, the forced rest a little longer, until I managed to think more preventatively when it comes to expending energy. And still, sometimes I get forced to rest.
Sometimes we have to push through a reset opportunity because others are counting on us. Sometimes, we push through because that is what we are used to doing, or because that’s what our culture has ingrained in us to do. Rest is for the weak. No sleep til Brooklyn. We expect that others want us to push through as well. Our social structure isn’t often aligned to offer us rest if we have kids, crazy work expectations, and related responsibilities.
But I remember that special operations officer, trained at the highest levels, with what you would have thought was unlimited energy. He spends multiple days in bed so he is ready to do what he is called to do. It’s not exactly a routine we can all incorporate. However, I appreciate his attention to the recharge.